Uncharted Territories
If you had to choose between who you were and who you are becoming, choose the new you.
Seven years ago, I boarded a twelve hour flight from Chicago, Illinois to Beijing, China. At the time, I worked as an academic advisor and was tasked to represent the technology majors for an orientation program. Believe it or not, I almost did not go.
At the time, I was in the midst of a transformation. The year before I had experienced heartbreak in the midst of mourning. Months before the voyage I released a book detailing my healing journey. Days before the trip I felt ill prepared.
Though my employer footed the bill, I did not have funds to fill in the gaps. Between the hotel’s continental breakfasts and the university sponsored dinners, I had to figure out how I was going to eat and bring souvenirs home for loved ones.
Shavonne with a friend and colleague prior to the orientation presentation.
As cliché as it sounds, money was not the main issue. I’m sure I could have stretched meals or the few dollars I could scrape together. The currency conversion rate would work in my favor. Eating less would have worked for my waistline as well.
My deepest fear was the culprit. It was the long held belief that my needs would go unmet. As someone who came from humble beginnings, I refused to show up to gatherings and spaces that reflected back to me everything I lacked.
The night before the trip was a turning point. The old avoidant version of me squared up to the new assured woman I was becoming. In the process, I learned three keys to help you get ready to embark on uncharted territory.
Shavonne visiting Tiananmen Square (Beijing, China) in 2017.
Express your fears. My roommate and I were headed out of the country within weeks of each other and I felt safe enough to share my fears with her. She validated my feelings and raised my spirits even in the face of ambiguity.
Accept help. Sometimes we feel the need to rely on our own resources when loved ones are willing to help. Release the urge to turn them away. After the conversation with my roommate, my mother offered cash and refused to take no for an answer.
Do it afraid. Make up your mind that you will move forward anyways. You may never feel certain or ready for your next step. Once I decided to make the most of this trip with the resources I had, fear subsided and everything worked out.
Shavonne at an Olympic Rings sculpture from the 2008 games in Beijing, China.
You risk your best life when you stop outside of your destination. Going to China opened up my mind and heart in inexplicable ways. If you had to choose between who you were and who you are becoming, always choose the new you.
